5 Ways to Maintain the Spark in Your Relationship
December 9, 2022
Long distances, opposing schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their spark—otherwise known as chemistry or a particularly strong connection. But the truth is that even in the best relationships, romance will fade if you’re not working on it. As days, months, and years go on, butterflies turn into to-do lists, and a relationship can grow into a routine. Whether it’s because of work, obligations, or children, life gets overwhelming and busy. Having a partner who is the one constant or sure thing in your life is a great thing — but it can also make it easier to put your partner and your relationship lower on the list of priorities when you know they’re a given.
Keep the “spark” alive with your partner, with these 5 ways to maintain the romance in your relationship:
- ASK FOR SOMETHING NEW EVERY WEEK
The first step in keeping the spark alive is knowing what “the spark” means to you. It’s likely that what makes you feel loved and appreciated is different than what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated, since we all have different love languages.
Try to turn it into a game—at the beginning of every week, think of something super specific that you each must work on for that week. Maybe you want them to plan a surprise date, bring home flowers one day, or compliment your looks. Maybe they’ll want more alone time with you or more positive feedback on their work. It may only be intended to last for a week, but actions will teach your partner not only what makes you feel loved, but how to make you feel loved.
- PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN
As nonchalant as a TikTok scroll might seem, consider every single minute you have together precious. Put away the phones when you’re having a meal, a conversation, or a good old-fashioned binge-watching session. Stay present whenever you’re together.
- MAKE EYE CONTACT
When you’re talking, focus on making eye contact so your partner knows you’re listening and to better connect to you. But also try to find the smaller moments you can make eye contact—when you’re in a crowded room or out at a party, try to lock eyes across the room, or keep eye contact longer than you normally do in random situations.
- TRY SOMETHING NEW TOGETHER
Whether you’re interested in traveling to a new place or signing up for a new cooking class, break out of your normal habits. When we’re stuck in a routine, we often feel numb to many of the reasons we love and appreciate our significant other. Trying something new will not only feel fun and exciting but seeing your partner in a totally new environment will teach you things you never knew about them, and/or remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place. You may, in fact, just fall in love with them all over again!
- MAKE A CHANGE INSTEAD OF HOPING THAT YOUR PARTNER WILL
If you want your partner to say or do more romantic things, it can feel a lot like nagging if you are constantly asking them to give you more. Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more you can be giving to your partner. When you’re with the right person, they’ll take notice of your extra effort and feel inspired to give some extra effort back. Be generous with affection, and if you love them unconditionally, prove it.
If all else fails, think back on the behaviors you both had at the beginning of your relationship. Think about how you thought of them, how you treated them, how much you wanted to make them happy. If you act like it’s the beginning, maybe it will never have an end.
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